


borderline

by philtheultimate



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bulimia, Depression, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 19:17:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20783747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philtheultimate/pseuds/philtheultimate
Summary: they say dan howell is a borderline.this is what it's like to live with BPD.please read at your own risk.





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ciara and kath](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ciara+and+kath).

they say dan howell is a borderline. 

“borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.”

he hates himself. he’s so alone. he has nobody, well not anymore. 

phil lester left. 

so so so long ago. 

“it’s all my fault.”  
“i deserve this.”  
“i hate you.”  
“i love you please don’t leave.”

i remember how i hated you once. i wish i could hate you like that again, but i just can’t.

alone again.

i hate you don’t leave me.

why did he leave me?

maybe dan howell will never know what he did that bitter night in 2012.


	2. Chapter 2

not done with this chapter, but it will be a lot longer <3


End file.
